The Price of Autonomy
by AEM77
Summary: Audrey discovers the price of autonomy can be awfully steep.
1. Chapter 1

The door opens and she is blinded by a burst of bright light. And just like that she remembers. No. Not remembers, she _is_. Audrey and Lucy and Sarah and all the others get pushed back and she is herself, her original self once more. And it is marvelous. The lines around her begin to sharpen and you cannot imagine the torture of living with blurred edges till you've come back into focus. All the doubt of her previous selves melts away and she stands confidently, whole at last. Call it evil, call it good, the distinctions don't matter anymore; all that matters is the certainty. So as William holds out his hand to lead her away from the lighthouse, she takes it and smiles brightly at him.

She is crackling with electricity now, the sparks positively flying off of her fingertips. She sees three figures approaching and identifies them from Audrey's memories. The lawman is fighting desperately to reach her, calling out her alias again and again. But the sailor gently restrains him, giving him over to the care of the young woman and approaches her himself. He moves hesitantly all the while searching her eyes. As he nears, she raises her hand to him feeling the pull of the electricity there, wanting to make contact, to cause him pain.

Like a whisper, she hears her own voice pleading quietly, 'Not him. Please not him.' This buzzing reminder of the other women she has been irritates her and she imagines her outline has become just a little less crisp. The thought enrages her and she reaches out now and grasps his forearm. She watches as the electricity floods the flesh, spreading out to his shoulder and chest and smiles cruelly as he folds into a pile on the stone steps. The woman now runs to the fallen man as their friend begins to approach her.

He moves more slowly now but with no less intensity. "Audrey." He says the name with absolute certainty and it makes her sense of completeness begin to waver. She moves to retaliate, but now the whisper has become a chorus of voices, 'No, no, no, no,' they chant, 'Not him. Never him.'

"Audrey." He says again this time louder and more determined. She can positively feel herself vibrating now as the women she has housed rise up against her intentions and freeze her arm in mid-air hovering before her. As the others' conviction becomes louder, her confidence begins to waver. She is confused in a way she's sure she has never experienced before and it makes her weak. Her muscles stop answering her commands and she watches as a spectator as she turns from the man ('Nathan' the voices scream) and walks toward William.

Audrey senses the weakness and pounces. She may be the monster William loves, but she is grateful that at least her final act will be as the woman Nathan loves.

If he is aware that a change in command has occurred he does not show it. He merely smirks at her and she welcomes the flood of disgust that fills her. She reaches out her hand to him, and though raising his eyebrows in query, he takes it and follows her back up the stairs toward the doorway. She spares a quick look over her shoulder to a distraught Jennifer still kneeling beside Duke and hopes she will guess her intention.

When they reach the threshold of the door she turns her body to William's and takes his hands in her own. "I want to thank you," she begins, "for showing me who I am. It makes what we are about to do so much easier." Much of the confidence has left his smile and she knows she is running out of time. Grasping William's forearms to keep him beside her, she turns to look at Nathan. "I love you!" she shouts as she uses all of her strength to awkwardly tumble William and herself over the doorframe. She looks up to see the silhouette of Jennifer as she heaves the door shut behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

She opens her eyes against the bright midday sun with the taste of the salty air in her mouth. It takes only a minute before she is on her feet remembering her last moments. Her eyes dart around the newly empty precipice where the lighthouse had stood. She spots Nathan's prone form and runs toward him. Even as she worries about the extent of his injuries, she can't help feeling hopeful. What is she doing back in Haven? Is it possible she's been set free? The thought and her quick jog across the craggy terrain leave her breathless.

He is rising to his knees as she reaches him. As she flops down beside him, he eyes her warily. 'He wonders if I'm still her,' she thinks. "It's okay," she tells him earnestly. "It's me. Audrey. I don't know how or why, but it's me." She reaches across the space between them to cup his cheek with her hand like he'd done to her all those months before. But now there was no Guard or Lexie between them, just them and their love for one another. It was his love that has saved her, his loving her when she couldn't love herself. She was going to be sure he felt the weight of _her_ love from now on, now that they'd been given this second chance.

But as soon as she's pressed her skin to his cheek, he is recoiling from her with a mixture of horror and fascination. "I felt that. I feel you," he whispers in disbelief.

Her confusion at his surprise is interrupted in the form of Duke who is making his way to them leaving a wide breadth between himself and the pair. "Duke, it's me. I'm back." But instead of answering, Duke reaches out a hand and helps raise Nathan to his feet. Both men are now looming over her, suspicion in their gazes.

"Guys, what is this? It's me; I'm back. The lighthouse took William but it spit me back out. Just ask Jennifer," she looks around for their friend but stops suddenly when she realizes they have not joined her in the visual search and instead seem to be having some kind of discussion with one another using their eyebrows alone. The scene would be funny if not for the sense of panic growing inside her.

Having come to a decision between themselves, Duke tentatively stretches out a hand to help her to her feet. "We've been having a number of gas leaks in the area," Nathan begins following alongside them taking moments to covertly stare at her as they go. "Appears you may have been affected. We'll take you down to the station; have you looked at."

He continues informing her of the leaks in question with the same words she's said a hundred times before to the confused victims of a Trouble. She can't bear to pay much attention though. She is too busy thinking of the irony of her situation. She's come all this way to finally know herself only to lose everyone she knows.


End file.
